sparrowfeather | subnautica: IC CONTACT

the source of that statistic is general common sense and human behavior, and before you launch into the argument that you aren't human so it doesn't count, that's not the point! made up statistics aside, i'm right, aren't i?

there's a pretty big difference between "they were resolved" and "i think they were resolved?" i mean, one's a statement, and the other one is just a hesitant guess. that should speak for itself.

[ "so it doesn't sound like everything is going fine at all" doesn't need to be verbalized when it's the obvious conclusion. whether karkat wants to go into it or not is up to him, but rose was serious about her not-so-hypothetical-anymore door being open. she likes to think she's good at talking to people, or at least listening. ]

Edited 2016-10-17 06:10 (UTC)

ALRIGHT.
I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION, PRIMARILY BECAUSE YOU ARE AN UNINVOLVED PARTY AND THUS ARE PRETTY UNBIASED ABOUT THE SITUATION AS A WHOLE.
AND ALSO PARTLY BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE I CAN EVEN ASK IS PRETTY LIMITED. AND ALMOST ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE FAIL THE ABOVE REQUIREMENT.

OBVIOUSLY MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DAVE IS A SECRET.
I WOULDN'T HAVE REACTED THE WAY I DID TO YOU OTHERWISE, AND HE WOULDN'T HAVE BASICALLY THREATENED TO STUFF YOU IN A LOCKER AFTER SCHOOL.
I AM NOT SURE IF YOU CAUGHT THAT REFERENCE OR NOT. BUT IN EARTH SCHOOLS, THERE ARE LOCKERS AND PEOPLE GET SHOVED INTO THEM.
ANYWAY MOVING ON.
IT'S SECRET BECAUSE I AM A DOUCHEBAG AND HAVE VARIOUS ISSUES WITH PUBLICITY THAT I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL HERE.
BUT DAVE WANTS TO NOT MAKE THE SECRET THING A THING ANYMORE? BUT HE KEEPS CLAIMING HE'LL DO IT AS LONG AS I WANT TO.
AND ADMITTEDLY I WANT TO. BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT DAVE TO BE MISERABLE, SO I OFFERED HIM AN OUT AND FOR US TO
WELL, NOT BE PDA-Y AS FUCK OR ANYTHING. BUT FOR IT TO NOT BE A SECRET ANYMORE, AT THE VERY LEAST.
AND IT'S BEEN A THING WE'VE BEEN ARGUING ABOUT FOR WEEKS NOW AND YESTERDAY I GUESS IT KIND OF HIT A BOILING POINT?
AND HE FLAT OUT ADMITTED HE WAS UNHAPPY WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP.
BUT THEN HE SAID HE IS WILLING TO DO WHATEVER I WANT AFTER HE SPOKE TO ME AND HIS SISTER ABOUT IT.
WHICH I GUESS MEANS HE'S WILLING TO GO PUBLIC BUT THE WHOLE THING FELT REALLY WEIRD AND IDK WHAT TO THINK.

HOLY FUCK I TALK A LOT.

[ rose is actually very surprised to get such a long and, uh, not-sarcastic response, but honestly? she's gotta admit she's just a little pleased, too, and she reads it over and starts trying to make sense of it all, giving the situation some serious thought. it's a little ironic that rose has been the one dishing out so much romantic advice over the past couple of weeks, given that rose is not exactly a romantic.

rose gives him a serious response. get comfortable, because it's long as hell and might crash his tablet or whatever. ]

you've always talked a lot. anyway, there's no right or wrong answer here, so all i can give you is the unbiased pov you're looking for and whatever sort of perspective i have to offer. you can take it or leave it, but here it is.

so he admitted he was unhappy and decided to resolve it with sure, whatever you want? yeah, that was not a resolution, and yeah, you're right to feel weird about it, 'cause it IS weird. it doesn't even come close to things being not weird. just to clarify, what you're getting at here is that you want to do what will make dave happy, and dave wants to do what will make you happy, but you guys will only be happy if you're doing what makes the other person happy, and that isn't working to the point of screwing it all over. okay, i hope i got that right.

first of all, listen. having "publicity issues" or whatever you wanna call it doesn't make you some sort of douchebag. there's nothing WRONG with you. personality clashes and conflicts of interest are just bound to happen once in awhile. nobody's in the right or in the wrong, and it sounds like you're really trying, here, karkat. really damn hard, too, so give yourself some credit. you're willing to make a compromise both for your sake and his, and that's what doing the relationship thing means. compromises.

i don't know dave, and i don't know anything about him other than the fact that, apparently, he wants to stuff me in a locker. that's cool. i have no idea what kind of person he is or what crazy shit is swirling around in his head, but you're doing the right thing by communicating with him. talking about ~feelings~ isn't exactly easy, but it means that you're serious about him, and imo if he was honest enough to straight up say he's unhappy with what you guys are right now, then it means he trusts you enough to hope that you guys can turn things around and figure out how to change what lead up to those feelings. it's not hard to assume that he cares about you enough to do whatever it takes to make this work! going public is a pretty huge decision, and it sucks that it's this complicated, but if he wasn't invested in getting this shit worked out, he wouldn't have bothered saying anything, because what the hell is the point if he thought it'd be a waste of time, right? it's p obvious this guy loves you enough to be real with you.

he def has some issues of his own, namely not seeming to get what the hell an okay resolution is, but still. as long as there's a "whatever he wants" in there, then yeah, it's still a problem. it's gotta be whatever you both want, plain and simple. and i mean, i'm not you, and i'm not dave, but i guess what i'd do is quit talking about it and start acting on it, get it? no this or that, no back and forth, no "whatever you want" crap. if this conversation has been going on this long then maybe a conversation just isn't gonna work out what you guys need. you feel me?

your compromise made sense. listen. start out slow, as slow as you need to, but make enough of an effort to show him that, hey, you're serious about this, and he's gotta be serious, too. work your way up to making the next step. nobody's asking you to be attached at the hip 24/7 like those other idiots i've been dealing with. you just gotta do it to know what's okay and what's not.

seriously, there are gonna be bumps in the road in every committed relationship, period. working together to navigate them matters way more than what those bumps are, so stop asking him about it and prove it to him. show him. hold his hand every once in awhile. stop obsessing. it's not gonna be easy, but you care about him enough to handle things that are not gonna be easy, and they'll get easier. i'm betting on it. just don't sacrifice every single one of your own needs in the process, because that'll just piss him off and lead you down the opposite route. relationships mean 50/50. equals. you guys are just being goddamn clueless about that part. you both matter.

and when you've figured out whether it's made any sort of change or not? that's a better time to talk about it again.

holy crap, you said YOU talk a lot? i hope i didn't crash your tablet. congrats for helping me set the world record for longest text ever sent.

Edited 2016-10-18 12:03 (UTC)

[ he reads this all over. it's something he more or less already knew, but it's good to have it all... laid out there for him like this? one of karkat's problems is that he has a tendency of overanalyzing situations to the point where he isn't sure if he's freaking out over nothing or if there is legitimately something to freak out over? since a lot of the time it is over nothing. ]

ROSE AND I WERE ORIGINALLY JUST ATTEMPTING TO GET HIM JUST TO AGREE TO TALK.
SO WE WEREN'T EVEN FOCUSING ON THE PROBLEM YET? JUST ATTEMPT TO, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, GET HIM TO LET US APPROACH IT AT ALL.
AND THEN HE AGREED TO NOT JUST TALKING, BUT TO EVERYTHING?
WHICH IS PART OF WHY I'M SO UNEASY ABOUT IT.
BUT THE THING IS... I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE LIED TO ME, BUT HE TRIES REALLY FUCKING HARD NOT TO LIE TO THE OTHER ROSE.
IT'S THEIR THING? I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I TOLD YOU THAT THEY'RE SIBLINGS.
ANYWAY, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "OK HE MUST BE TELLING THE TRUTH HERE BECAUSE THERE IS NO GODDAMN WAY HE WOULD LIE TO ROSE RIGHT TO HER FACE LIKE THAT."
AND NOW I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT IT.

ALSO EVERYONE ELSE TENDS TO TELL ME THAT THE WHOLE NO PUBLICITY THING MAKES ME A GIGANTIC DUMBASS.
I DON'T REALLY GET HOW TO EXPLAIN WHY IT'S SUCH A THING THOUGH, WHICH MIGHT MAKE ME A DUMBASS.
WHO THE FUCK KNOWS. BUT IT'S STILL A THING REGARDLESS.

I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING REALLY DISGUSTING AND AFTER THIS CONVERSATION I WANT YOU TO NEVER REPEAT IT EVER AGAIN OR ELSE I MAY LEAP INTO THE VOLCANO.
BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO BREAK UP WITH ME.

[ the disgusting thing here is sincere feelings LMAO ]

AND IF WE DON'T FIGURE THIS OUT THEN I'M PRETTY SURE THAT MIGHT BE THE ONLY OPTION AT THIS POINT?
IT'S JUST A FEELING I HAVE. AND I COULD BE OVERREACTING, LIKE GODDAMN ALWAYS. I AM THE OVERREACTION KING, IT IS ME.
BUT SOMETHING TELLS ME THAT'S NOT THE CASE THIS TIME?

I'LL TRY THOUGH.
THE SHITTY HARD PART IS JUST GETTING HIM TO AGREE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING THOUGH.
HE'S PRETTY PRIVATE TOO EXCEPT IT'S IN THE "HE HATES FEELINGS JAMS" SENSE.
WHICH IS THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS?
BUT YEAH. SHIT NONE OF THIS MADE SENSE DID IT. I DON'T NORMALLY TALK ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN DAVE.
AND YOU ALREADY KNOW FUCKING WELL THAT GOES.

ummmmm yikes! okay, no, i did not know dave was this bad at talking about feelings and stuff. i mean i was guessing he was bad in a dumb teen way but i did not know he was THIS bad. also, chill out, seriously, it made sense.

anyway... if you guys are thinking he's lying, then i wish i didn't have to say it but yeeeah i'm going to third that. i mean, with the way he decided to settle things, i thought it was pretty obvious in the first place, but if he makes lying to you an actual habit, then... that's definitely something on him, and definitely something that he needs to work on, because that is a much bigger problem than a personality clash. i didn't know he and other rose were siblings, actually, but i've met her just once and she seemed nice, and patient, and a good person to have around, so i'm gonna put my faith in her and hope she feels the power of other rose rooting for her! just. don't blame yourself for whatever bad habits he has. you have your own bad habits to think about, and i know you're thinking about them seriously, and that matters most right now. it hurts, but there's only so much you can do when it comes to his issues. all you can do is focus on your own, because that's doing your part to put everything you have into this relationship.

[ there's a pause before her next text. she's not done. just doing some thinking. ]

... kay, going a little off topic here, but i dunno, i don't think being nervous about going public makes you a dumbass or whatever? like, i am used to being stuck witnessing a totally different situation, so maybe i'm biased! but regardless, it's not like you're not AWARE that it's a thing? everyone has their 'things' karkat. they might not make sense, but everyone has those dumb quirks or w/e and sure, maybe those things are dumb, but they don't make you dumb, so relax.

[ but moving on to what karkat seemed so petrified of saying? rose doesn't have the slightest clue HOW that is disgusting. she has been pretty good, she thinks, at figuring out what she is going to call Karkat Code (Name Subject to Change), at least she thinks she has, but that one has her scratching her head. the thing is, karkat is... way more insecure than rose ever would have guessed, and rose has always been good at reading people from the start, so that's been a surprise. now that she gets it, she's not going to treat him any differently-- whatever dumb banter they have going on is way too much fun, and it's not like he'd be down with rose suddenly changing her tune, either-- but it has given her some perspective.

like, yeah, sure, rose will call karkat names when they are just being them, but she's not super into the idea of ridiculing him for his insecurities on PURPOSE. if anything, he's way, way too hard on himself, and it's obvious. rose understands why dave wanted to stuff her in a locker. not her fault, but okay, she gets it. ]

i will never repeat it again. i swear. i cannot have you leaping into the volcano. dave would stuff me into one HUNDRED lockers! and after that, i think i'd be tossed right in there with you. you've got my word. and i don't want you and dave to break up, either. just pretend i never said this, but you deserve a dave, and dave deserves a karkat, so... so. i'm way more disgusting than you are!!!! i win!!

yeah, sure, you overreact. that has always been pretty obvious. but no-- this is definitely a valid issue, and i'd like to think i don't overreact, so that might be something to consider when i say that everything that's come up has been a valid issue.

but you recognize them and you're trying, okay? you know what you need to do, and you're working on it, and hey, whenever you need to talk about the latest crazy development in this teen drama, then... that not-even-a-little-hypothetical door is not only open, but i think it has, like, crashed down at this point. we BROKE the damn door.

[ ♥ ]

... so did everything i blabbed at you make sense? i guess if there's anything i hope you can take from that, it's that i might be a huge pain in the ass, but i'm still cheering you on!!!! things are def gonna work out as long as you keep putting the effort in. you'll make them work out. i'm drawing the line here, though, because if i ever start spouting terrible lines like "i believe in you" or anything on that level of cliche then i encourage you to block me. that is officially too much, and in that case scenario, someone stole my phone and is impersonating me.

Edited 2016-10-18 20:36 (UTC)

[ there's a delay before his response, since he has to read through it all, digest it, and then figure out what to say. he figures that going "okay thanks bye" is probably not appropriate, but karkat is definitely not used to seeking help for matters like this. the fact that he's even going to people is an act of desperateness, him digging his claws into the remaining shreds of his relationship.

he should probably go talk to the other rose again too. maybe dirk? he probably won't go to dirk since that is a whole other awkward situation that is less important than this current one.

but mostly he's kind of stuck on "but you deserve a dave and dave deserves a karkat" holy sht ]

NO IT MADE SENSE SOMEHOW.
AND DON'T WORRY, IF I WAS ABLE TO BLOCK YOU I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE DONE IT LIKE SEVERAL WEEKS AGO.
ALONG WITH HALF OF THE BASE? BUT BLOCKING PEOPLE APPARENTLY MAKES URSULA SAD OR WHATEVER.
SHE'S SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. UGH.

BUT... I GUESS I'LL DO MY BEST?
ALTHOUGH I KIND OF HOPE YOU DON'T LEAVE THIS CONVERSATION SEEING DAVE IN A BAD LIGHT.
HE HAS HIS BAD HABITS BUT HE ALSO HAS A LOT OF GOOD ONES TOO THAT I THINK OUTNUMBER THEM?
HE'S FUNNY AND KIND OF TALENTED IN A LOT OF DIFFERENT THINGS? LIKE MUSIC OR FIGHTING. HE DOESN'T LOOK IT BUT HE'S PRETTY FUCKING POWERFUL, LIKE RIDICULOUSLY OP.
IT KIND OF PISSES ME OFF??
AND HE GETS INTERESTED BY THE STUPIDEST OF THINGS. YOU KNOW THAT HE BASICALLY RUNS THE FARM ALMOST BY HIMSELF? THERE ARE A FEW PEOPLE WHO HELP HIM, BUT IT'S PRIMARILY ALL HIM.
AND HE DID ALL OF IT JUST TO DRINK. FUCKING. APPLE JUICE.
WHO THE FUCK WOULD MAINTAIN AN ENTIRE GODDAMN FARM FILLED WITH DOZENS OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF VEGETATION FOR *APPLE JUICE*? WHAT AN IDIOT.
BUT HE'S SO HAPPY DOING THIS REALLY ABSURD THINGS. AND IF ANYONE ELSE WERE DOING THEM, I COULDN'T EVEN FORCE MYSELF TO WATCH WITHOUT WANTING TO BANG MY HEAD AGAINST WHATEVER IS THE CLOSEST HARD SURFACE.
BUT IT'S JUST SICKENINGLY ENDEARING COMING FROM HIM.
HE'S THE KIND OF PERSON WHO WOULD DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR THE PEOPLE HE CARES ABOUT. LIKE STUPID SELF-SACRIFICIAL BULLSHIT THAT I'D KILL HIM FOR IF HE ATTEMPTED IT.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M GOING WITH THIS AND I HOPE TO FUCKING GOD YOU DELETE THIS MESSAGE AFTER RECEIVING IT.
BUT HE'S KIND OF MY FAVORITE PERSON AND HE DESERVES TO HAVE FRIENDS WHO CAN SEE ALL OF THIS ABOUT HIM.
I MEAN, EVEN IF HE DOES END UP DUMPING ME I STILL WANT HIM TO BE SURROUNDED BY NON-SHITTY THINGS.

ANYWAY WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS UH.
SHIT I'M REALLY BAD AT DOING THIS.
THANKS????
FOR THE ADVICE???
WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT.
I WILL TRY NOT TO FUCK ALL OF IT UP AND I GUESS I WILL ATTEMPT TO SIT HIM DOWN AND FIND OUT IF HE'S ACTUALLY LYING TO US ABOUT THIS OR IF EVERYONE IS JUST BEING PARANOID.
I KIND OF HOPE WE'RE JUST OVERTHINKING IT THOUGH?
I WOULD BE A PRETTY TERRIBLE PERSON IF I MADE HIM FEEL EVEN WORSE THAN HE ALREADY DID.

[ it's physically impossible for rose to stop herself from smiling while she reads karkat's prattling on and on about everything he likes so much about dave, all these little things rose never would have guessed. karkat didn't give her a bad impression of him at all. she can't judge someone she still doesn't exactly know beyond a very brief exchange, and maybe she will never know him. it doesn't matter to her. she's just going to cross her fingers that he's as serious about this as he came off when karkat told her what he said, because hell, this is actually really, really goddamn cute and rose is absolutely NOT deleting this message at all. never. it'll be her little secret. she will put it in a folder titled IF ANY STRIDER EVER SEES THIS, DO NOT OPEN, which is silly because why would a strider ever have their hands on this thing, but it's the best title she's got.

for once, karkat gets a short and quick response. maybe it's rose's way of going back to teasing him, or maybe she's just genuinely stunned! it's both! she is admittedly still smiling when she hits send. ]

wow. you are seriously head over heels in love with this guy, aren't you.

yeah, don't worry. you're gonna be fine. i mean it.

oh yeah, and you're welcome. jeez, don't hurt yourself. "thanks" is enough!

[ wow when did karkat ever give the impression he is in love with dave.... don't jump to conclusions??? ]

CAN WE PRETEND THAT ALL OF THIS NEVER HAPPENED?
I APPRECIATE ALL THE HELP AND ADVICE BUT ALSO
THIS NEVER HAPPENED.

alright! wish granted. it never happened.

but... i'm glad i could help. seriously, i appreciate your appreciation! i tried.

[ she's still saving it to a private folder.... i mean, she said she's pretending it never happened, not it never happened. this will always be her little secret, though. ♥ ]

Edited 2016-10-20 19:28 (UTC)

[ he types out thank you. deletes it. types it out again. deletes it again. ugh. ]

YOU ACTUALLY DID A PRETTY DECENT JOB AT THE WHOLE ADVICE THING
MAYBE YOU SHOULD START UP A BOOTH FOR IT?

[ rose can't help but smile. she didn't expect to hear something like that, to be honest. ]

a booth? what, should i grab a desk and a chair and paint a sign that says ROSE'S RELATIONSHIP ADVICE in big, red letters?

THE ONLY THING IS THAT YOU CAN'T REALLY GET PAID FOR IT
LIKE, WE DON'T USE ANY CURRENCY HERE?
UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET PAID IN LIKE... FUCKING APPLES, I GUESS.

listen, when i heard about the currency bs i was SO PISSED, how do you guys run this place when there's no $$$$$$$??? i was a merchant back home so that was kinda bad news for me. i'm NOT getting paid in apples for my hard work. besides, i can probably bother your boyfriend and get FREE apples--

crap, i forgot he hates me. damn it. abort.

[ but karkat gets another text like five minutes later because no, she decides she's not done. ]

there has to be something better i can get paid with, like, i don't know, gold. but maybe i'll give them something extra if they bring an apple, too.

wait, what if i don't even know someone who comes by, do i just make something up? do i tell them that if you follow your dreams, they're guaranteed to come true as long as you just wish on a shooting star or something?? that would be the most bs lie i've ever told. and what about the ones that i have to give BAD news to, y'know, just to mix things up. what am i, a monster? karkat, you didn't even think this through.

[ SHE IS TAKING THIS SO SERIOUSLY nah she's just super pissed about the currency thing because getting people to buy useless things was her JOB. fuck getting paid in apples. ]

SEE, I HAVEN'T HAD ANY USE FOR CURRENCY IN OVER THREE YEARS
WE HAD IT IN THE GAME WE PLAYED BUT THAT BECAME OBSOLETE AFTER WE BEAT OUR SESSION.
AND I HAVEN'T HAD TO BUY ANYTHING SINCE THEN SO THIS ISN'T ANYTHING NEW.
ALSO I HAVE NO IDEA IF THERE IS GOLD AROUND HERE
WE'RE ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLANET. SOME OF THE MINERALS FROM WHERE WE'RE USED TO MIGHT NOT EXIST HERE.
UNLESS SOMEONE HAS GOLD MAKING POWERS I GUESS WHICH IS ALWAYS A POSSIBILITY.

AND OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO BULLSHIT IT.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME SKILLS AT THAT RIGHT?
AND NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE GOOD NEWS. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT THEY ARE FUCKED AND THEY MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT NOW RATHER THAN LATER. IT'S LIFE

subnautica: IC CONTACT

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